I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
