Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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