was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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