She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
