i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
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