He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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