4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
pray to the hookup gods
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
