Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
