I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you had me at cake vodka
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
