i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
