Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
