Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
These tits shall not be calmed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
