Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
