So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
