Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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