You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
