Barsexuality is the new black.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
