when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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