come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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