She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
