a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
