went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
