It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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