Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
