I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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