super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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