One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
