I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
