This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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