You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
