What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
