It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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