STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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