that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
