alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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