A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
handjob tips. give me some.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
