what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
