Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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