She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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