u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
