he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
