Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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