I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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