he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
