Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
