what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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