Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
