the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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