I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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