I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
