garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last time i carry you out of a forest
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
